We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Nonfiction

by LIT. MAJOR

supported by
viccaspak
viccaspak thumbnail
Nance Smith
Nance Smith thumbnail
Luke Janke (Comm. Radio Tapes)
Luke Janke (Comm. Radio Tapes) thumbnail
sofiewsmith
sofiewsmith thumbnail
/
1.
Try to Say 02:02
lyrics
buy track
When I try to say it to you The words come out like mold Stale air, used and cold When I try to say it to myself It comes out like water A fast-flowing river Ice in my veins Hot on my tongue I choke myself to stop the flow I choke myself to stop the flow When I try to change the lens We’ve been using to look through I end up just staring at you When I try to color in my lines I wind up so far afield I might as well not be real Ice in my veins Hot on my tongue I choke myself to stop the flow I choke myself to stop the flow
2.
I Hear a Voice 03:41
lyrics
buy track
Sometimes when I am home alone I pick up my phone Put the receiver to my ear See if there’s anybody there And sometimes, I do hear a voice And sometimes, I do hear a voice Sometimes I swear it sounds like you Laughing like you used to do Sometimes I swear it calls my name Sometimes it makes me feel ashamed And sometimes, I listen too close And sometimes, I listen too close Sometimes, I listen too close Sometimes I think back to when We used to intertwine our limbs Oh how I’m left now wanting only that One hand on my head, one on my back And sometimes, I do hear a voice Sometimes, I do hear a voice Sometimes, I swear it sounds like you I do, sometimes, hear a voice
3.
The Future 04:15
lyrics
buy track
I’ve been peeling apart Lately, losing pieces Of my body Not sure if I’ll ever Find them again Like a snake I’m shedding skin It’s disgusting, and unforeseen I’m not trusting My own instincts Ever again Ok maybe that’s an exaggeration I may make these mistakes again We are nothing as humans if not consistent Always do the same thing Expecting it to change But I “can’t change” You Can’t I’ve been seeing my own shit Fall away, into the corners of our Hallways Piling up like Useless junk I wish I could see the future But then I think again, and I wonder Would I even Want to know If the ship ends up sunk? Ok maybe that’s a simplification I’m sure we’ll have this discussion again We are nothing as humans if not persistent Always do the one thing Even if we don’t do it well But I “can’t change” You Can’t Change You Can’t Change You Can’t—
4.
Not Even Crying 02:48
lyrics
buy track
My grandfather passed away last month I went to the church service But went home for lunch Didn’t go to the graveyard Didn’t drive out to see The burial rites Performed by the priest I went to the mass for my dad & my grandma They wanted me there And I was ok with that Don’t know how many years Maybe a few Since I entered a church Or sat down in a pew My father was crying in his silent way Mh grandmother wailed her sorrows away Her tissues were many Hands on her shoulders and legs From cousins, aunts, and uncles Whose own cheeks were red He was her husband for so many years I hope she didn’t notice I had no tears I didn’t really know him while he was alive Even though he was there for all of my life He was sort of an addendum To whatever we did He’d come along to where she went With her children and grandkids He never made much effort to get to know me Or my siblings, no discussion, no curiosity He just kind of took Whatever came his way I don’t think he would have been Too happy that I’m gay But I know that it’s sad when a family says goodbye To the patriarch they held in their hearts for some time He lived 92 years And I hope that bodes well For my own longevity My own bodily health I don’t want to leave This body or this life I’m so scared of death And it brings with it great strife But I’m even more scared Of leaving like he did With some family in the audience Not even crying I don’t know what to say for myself It’s just the way it turned out I might as well have been a stranger to him It is what it is, it is what it is
5.
Healthy 03:46
lyrics
buy track
Got a moment? Take a break with me Squeeze it in between See what happens Phony intimate A trick of the light Tricks the heart and the mind Into trespassing Hinging on something, about to cross a line No need to look in, no need to look past It’s all hypothetical until it unties A beautiful blossom, withered into trash Instant access At the palm of our hands A digital dance Mental gymnastics Why am I like this? Well wouldn’t I like to know Why I deliver the blows Without meaning it? Hinging on something, about to cross a line No need to look in, no need to look past It’s all hypothetical until it unties A beautiful blossom, withered into trash
6.
Feel More Love More 03:40
lyrics
buy track
I scare myself sometimes With how I’ve been acting For so much of my life All withdrawn and lacking No betrayal from me Except the one of you My thoughts are kept closely Like a secret clue When will I wake When will I take hold of it Sometimes I dream in film Me: the tragic hero My many flaws are fatal Nowhere left to go Does it ever leave you? Mistakes and errors made Do they ever lift off And simply go away? When will I wake When will I take hold of it I feel as though I need to feel more I feel as though I need to love more I feel as though I need to feel more I feel as though I need to love more Love more Love more When will I wake When will I take hold of it A burden to hold Embittered and cold from it I need to release I need to believe in this In this in this In this
7.
Afraid of Thunder 03:32
lyrics
buy track
I used to be so afraid of thunder Crying every time it purred But now I welcome the distraction As if time momentarily blurs First comes rain, then comes lightning A flash before the sonic swing Sometimes I wish it could erase me Boom me right out of being If these months are anything to go by I’m not sure about what’s coming now But I do know I am ready to face it Even if I do back away sometimes anyhow If for one moment I could keep you Preserve us in amber for a spell There are individual moments Where everything is going so well But if these months are anything to go by I find I’m scared of what’s coming now But I hope that I am ready to face it Be it with you, or without
8.
Friend 2 02:54
lyrics
buy track
It was just a random party Something I was invited to Didn’t know you’d walk through the door Didn’t know that I’d be meeting you Didn’t know that I would change your life Or that you would in turn change mine Soon after we were sitting in your room Working on your songs and working on mine And together we spent many years Sitting side by sideo Our voices shy but loud Humming melodies sweet to the ear Piano keys Echoing all around your house Remember when you went away For some undetermined length of time I called you every other day Sang you songs by Iron & Wine I don’t know if I ever told you How your father called me up one day We talked for almost sixty minutes All just so that he could say thanks You and me we have been linked Ever since that night You walked in a stranger I would not trade anything I only wish that we could have Maintained it longer 'Cause it’s more faded now Than it’s ever been Slower communication Longer gaps in between I still try to reach out Every now and again But I think I just need to make peace With then being then
9.
A Door Inside Another Door Inside Another Door 05:00
lyrics
buy track
You can't do this anymore You don't need to put up with this You don't want this anymore And I just have to be ok with it I have turned againist my own I have truly done myself in Now my house turns from a home To somewhere I'm only wading in Now that the end of our long And beautiful night is nigh The sun is peaking over the horizon And I don't like its revealing light They say for each door that closes down Another one opens like a cure But all I see before me now Is a door inside another door Inside another door Time may indeed heal wounds But I'd like to know how long it'll be What I've done cannot be undone No, we are in a new reality Now that the end of our long And beautiful day has dawned The sun is peaking over the horizon And I do not like what it's shown They say for each door that closes down Another one opens like a cure But all I see before me now Is a door inside another door Inside another door How does one reconcile with oneself Hating both the sin and sinner? And in this instance I'm all and I'm both The fact of the mattter couldn't be clearerr They say for each door that closes down Another one opens like a cure But all I see before me now Is a door inside another door Inside another door They say for each door that closes down Another one opens like a cure But all I see before me now Is a door inside another door Inside another door Inside another door Inside anotherdoor insideanother door Insideanotherdoorinsideanotherdoor
10.
April Baby 04:06
lyrics
buy track
I am my mother’s April baby I am my father’s son What started as a wish to nothing Turned into someone I fight tooth and nail sometimes To push against the thoughts That I instill mostly sadness By not carrying it on A lineage, a line That I’ve no intent to mine For any remaining resource from within The trail, the road stops here And I’ll apologize through tears Until I’m blue outside and in I’m not sure what I have to be So sorry for I didn’t even do anything But stay true to course I think a lot about How I might be letting them down As if it’s not good enough how well I’ve grown I am her April baby And I know how much she Would love to see me have my own I am her April baby...
11.
In San Francisco 02:36
lyrics
buy track
In San Francisco I had such a good time A good time with you Smiling in the sun Cloaking in the cold What a beautiful view The cold air of the bay Swinging through like an axe Serpentine over the hills Sun beating on our heads Chest out to the air My heart getting its fill Driving up California 1 For a bottle of wine And then back down again Stopping at the Muir Frigid sea whips our feet Water too cold to go in Cup of coffee from Jane Quiet day in the park In the warm of your glow I miss it, I do I had such a good time with you In San Francisco
12.
Healing? 02:45
lyrics
buy track
Will there be any healing tonight? Or will the wounds remain open? I swear I am going to make it right Is there any hope in hoping? I’d like to think The answer’s Yes And that you know I’m doing my best Things don’t change Overnight And I love you deeply I know that’s right Will there be any healing today? Let me show you all that I can do I’m learning more and more every day To set in gold my love and care for you I’d like to think The answer’s Yes Or that it will be By the time I ask you next I know that things Don’t change overnight But I love you deeply And I know that’s right I need you to know That’s right

about

A sequel to my other 2021 album Fiction. A set of personal songs.

Borne by feelings of fear, failure, loss, confusion, guilt, sadness, but then also hope, love, introspection, optimism... Nonfiction is a strange beast for me. The ripples of these moments in my life will spring forth for some time, and now they are encased in song. I think they're pretty good. I hope you like them. (I also played lap steel and electric bass for the first time, so there's also that.)

Thank you to my small group of collaborators and early-listeners.

credits

released December 3, 2021

All songs written and produced by LIT. MAJOR

Acoustic guitars, electric guitars, lap steel, keyboards, bass, percussion, glockenspiel, and vocals by LIT. MAJOR
Soprano trombone on "Not Even Crying" and "In San Francisco" by Luke Janke

Mastered by Bobbi Giel

Photography by Kyle Rodgers

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

LIT. MAJOR image

LIT. MAJOR Connecticut

remy josef.
sad song singer.

contact / help

Contact LIT. MAJOR

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

LIT. MAJOR recommends:

If you like LIT. MAJOR, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Saxophonist Isaiah Collier chats about his new LP and the influence of Pharoah Sanders.
listen now