Get all 12 LIT. MAJOR releases available on Bandcamp and save 30%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of LIT. MAJOR, OUR OWN BODIES, Nonfiction, Fiction, Generosity, water in dreams, July Songs, Seeking, and 4 more.
1. |
Try to Say
02:02
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When I try to say it to you
The words come out like mold
Stale air, used and cold
When I try to say it to myself
It comes out like water
A fast-flowing river
Ice in my veins
Hot on my tongue
I choke myself to stop the flow
I choke myself to stop the flow
When I try to change the lens
We’ve been using to look through
I end up just staring at you
When I try to color in my lines
I wind up so far afield
I might as well not be real
Ice in my veins
Hot on my tongue
I choke myself to stop the flow
I choke myself to stop the flow
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2. |
I Hear a Voice
03:41
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Sometimes when I am home alone
I pick up my phone
Put the receiver to my ear
See if there’s anybody there
And sometimes, I do hear a voice
And sometimes, I do hear a voice
Sometimes I swear it sounds like you
Laughing like you used to do
Sometimes I swear it calls my name
Sometimes it makes me feel ashamed
And sometimes, I listen too close
And sometimes, I listen too close
Sometimes, I listen too close
Sometimes I think back to when
We used to intertwine our limbs
Oh how I’m left now wanting only that
One hand on my head, one on my back
And sometimes, I do hear a voice
Sometimes, I do hear a voice
Sometimes, I swear it sounds like you
I do, sometimes, hear a voice
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3. |
The Future
04:15
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I’ve been peeling apart
Lately, losing pieces
Of my body
Not sure if I’ll ever
Find them again
Like a snake I’m shedding skin
It’s disgusting, and unforeseen
I’m not trusting
My own instincts
Ever again
Ok maybe that’s an exaggeration
I may make these mistakes again
We are nothing as humans if not consistent
Always do the same thing
Expecting it to change
But I “can’t change”
You
Can’t
I’ve been seeing my own shit
Fall away, into the corners of our
Hallways
Piling up like
Useless junk
I wish I could see the future
But then I think again, and I wonder
Would I even
Want to know
If the ship ends up sunk?
Ok maybe that’s a simplification
I’m sure we’ll have this discussion again
We are nothing as humans if not persistent
Always do the one thing
Even if we don’t do it well
But I “can’t change”
You
Can’t
Change
You
Can’t
Change
You
Can’t—
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4. |
Not Even Crying
02:48
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My grandfather passed away last month
I went to the church service
But went home for lunch
Didn’t go to the graveyard
Didn’t drive out to see
The burial rites
Performed by the priest
I went to the mass for my dad & my grandma
They wanted me there
And I was ok with that
Don’t know how many years
Maybe a few
Since I entered a church
Or sat down in a pew
My father was crying in his silent way
Mh grandmother wailed her sorrows away
Her tissues were many
Hands on her shoulders and legs
From cousins, aunts, and uncles
Whose own cheeks were red
He was her husband
for so many years
I hope she didn’t notice
I had no tears
I didn’t really know him while he was alive
Even though he was there for all of my life
He was sort of an addendum
To whatever we did
He’d come along to where she went
With her children and grandkids
He never made much effort to get to know me
Or my siblings, no discussion, no curiosity
He just kind of took
Whatever came his way
I don’t think he would have been
Too happy that I’m gay
But I know that it’s sad when a family says goodbye
To the patriarch they held in their hearts for some time
He lived 92 years
And I hope that bodes well
For my own longevity
My own bodily health
I don’t want to leave
This body or this life
I’m so scared of death
And it brings with it great strife
But I’m even more scared
Of leaving like he did
With some family in the audience
Not even crying
I don’t know what to say for myself
It’s just the way it turned out
I might as well have been a stranger to him
It is what it is, it is what it is
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5. |
Healthy
03:46
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Got a moment?
Take a break with me
Squeeze it in between
See what happens
Phony intimate
A trick of the light
Tricks the heart and the mind
Into trespassing
Hinging on something, about to cross a line
No need to look in, no need to look past
It’s all hypothetical until it unties
A beautiful blossom, withered into trash
Instant access
At the palm of our hands
A digital dance
Mental gymnastics
Why am I like this?
Well wouldn’t I like to know
Why I deliver the blows
Without meaning it?
Hinging on something, about to cross a line
No need to look in, no need to look past
It’s all hypothetical until it unties
A beautiful blossom, withered into trash
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6. |
Feel More Love More
03:40
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I scare myself sometimes
With how I’ve been acting
For so much of my life
All withdrawn and lacking
No betrayal from me
Except the one of you
My thoughts are kept closely
Like a secret clue
When will I wake
When will I take hold of it
Sometimes I dream in film
Me: the tragic hero
My many flaws are fatal
Nowhere left to go
Does it ever leave you?
Mistakes and errors made
Do they ever lift off
And simply go away?
When will I wake
When will I take hold of it
I feel as though I need to feel more
I feel as though I need to love more
I feel as though I need to feel more
I feel as though I need to love more
Love more
Love more
When will I wake
When will I take hold of it
A burden to hold
Embittered and cold from it
I need to release
I need to believe in this
In this
in this
In this
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7. |
Afraid of Thunder
03:32
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I used to be so afraid of thunder
Crying every time it purred
But now I welcome the distraction
As if time momentarily blurs
First comes rain, then comes lightning
A flash before the sonic swing
Sometimes I wish it could erase me
Boom me right out of being
If these months are anything to go by
I’m not sure about what’s coming now
But I do know I am ready to face it
Even if I do back away sometimes anyhow
If for one moment I could keep you
Preserve us in amber for a spell
There are individual moments
Where everything is going so well
But if these months are anything to go by
I find I’m scared of what’s coming now
But I hope that I am ready to face it
Be it with you, or without
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8. |
Friend 2
02:54
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It was just a random party
Something I was invited to
Didn’t know you’d walk through the door
Didn’t know that I’d be meeting you
Didn’t know that I would change your life
Or that you would in turn change mine
Soon after we were sitting in your room
Working on your songs and working on mine
And together we spent many years
Sitting side by sideo
Our voices shy but loud
Humming melodies sweet to the ear
Piano keys
Echoing all around your house
Remember when you went away
For some undetermined length of time
I called you every other day
Sang you songs by Iron & Wine
I don’t know if I ever told you
How your father called me up one day
We talked for almost sixty minutes
All just so that he could say thanks
You and me we have been linked
Ever since that night
You walked in a stranger
I would not trade anything
I only wish that we could have
Maintained it longer
'Cause it’s more faded now
Than it’s ever been
Slower communication
Longer gaps in between
I still try to reach out
Every now and again
But I think I just need to make peace
With then being then
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9. |
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You can't do this anymore
You don't need to put up with this
You don't want this anymore
And I just have to be ok with it
I have turned againist my own
I have truly done myself in
Now my house turns from a home
To somewhere I'm only wading in
Now that the end of our long
And beautiful night is nigh
The sun is peaking over the horizon
And I don't like its revealing light
They say for each door that closes down
Another one opens like a cure
But all I see before me now
Is a door inside another door
Inside another door
Time may indeed heal wounds
But I'd like to know how long it'll be
What I've done cannot be undone
No, we are in a new reality
Now that the end of our long
And beautiful day has dawned
The sun is peaking over the horizon
And I do not like what it's shown
They say for each door that closes down
Another one opens like a cure
But all I see before me now
Is a door inside another door
Inside another door
How does one reconcile with oneself
Hating both the sin and sinner?
And in this instance I'm all and I'm both
The fact of the mattter couldn't be clearerr
They say for each door that closes down
Another one opens like a cure
But all I see before me now
Is a door inside another door
Inside another door
They say for each door that closes down
Another one opens like a cure
But all I see before me now
Is a door inside another door
Inside another door
Inside another door
Inside anotherdoor insideanother door
Insideanotherdoorinsideanotherdoor
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10. |
April Baby
04:06
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I am my mother’s April baby
I am my father’s son
What started as a wish to nothing
Turned into someone
I fight tooth and nail sometimes
To push against the thoughts
That I instill mostly sadness
By not carrying it on
A lineage, a line
That I’ve no intent to mine
For any remaining resource from within
The trail, the road stops here
And I’ll apologize through tears
Until I’m blue outside and in
I’m not sure what I have to be
So sorry for
I didn’t even do anything
But stay true to course
I think a lot about
How I might be letting them down
As if it’s not good enough how well I’ve grown
I am her April baby
And I know how much she
Would love to see me have my own
I am her April baby...
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11. |
In San Francisco
02:36
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In San Francisco
I had such a good time
A good time with you
Smiling in the sun
Cloaking in the cold
What a beautiful view
The cold air of the bay
Swinging through like an axe
Serpentine over the hills
Sun beating on our heads
Chest out to the air
My heart getting its fill
Driving up California 1
For a bottle of wine
And then back down again
Stopping at the Muir
Frigid sea whips our feet
Water too cold to go in
Cup of coffee from Jane
Quiet day in the park
In the warm of your glow
I miss it, I do
I had such a good time with you
In San Francisco
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12. |
Healing?
02:45
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Will there be any healing tonight?
Or will the wounds remain open?
I swear I am going to make it right
Is there any hope in hoping?
I’d like to think
The answer’s Yes
And that you know
I’m doing my best
Things don’t change
Overnight
And I love you deeply
I know that’s right
Will there be any healing today?
Let me show you all that I can do
I’m learning more and more every day
To set in gold my love and care for you
I’d like to think
The answer’s Yes
Or that it will be
By the time I ask you next
I know that things
Don’t change overnight
But I love you deeply
And I know that’s right
I need you to know
That’s right
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Spencer's indie folk sophomore album was recorded live in the studio over the course of two days.
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